


But I Don't Care I'm Not Scared of Love

by thesassmaster



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Engagement, Fluff, Harry's POV, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, just a lot of feelings and goop, like fluff overload, love the boys but they aren't in this, maybe cute harry, not joking, proposal, stupid in love harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 00:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1063777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesassmaster/pseuds/thesassmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes I think people think me crazy. Actually I know people think I'm crazy. Because I'm already in so deep, and a 19 year old 'can't possibly know what love really means'. A 19 year old doesn't have any idea what forever really entails. But I think I have a pretty good idea, because forever looks like you, Niall Horan so if you ask me, the rest of my life isn't looking half bad. At least not from where I'm standing. And I think I've got a pretty good view.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Don't Care I'm Not Scared of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This started as something completely different but I actually don't mind what it turned into. It was fun and cute and I ended up really liking it! 
> 
> Uh, the title is from Strong, midnight memories because apparently all the songs from the album just speak to me.  
> I'm so tired but I really wanted to post this, sorry for any mistakes. Let me know what you think!

  
Sometimes I think people think me crazy. Actually I know people think I'm crazy. Because I'm already in so deep, and a 19 year old 'can't possibly know what love really means'. A 19 year old doesn't have any idea what forever really entails. But I think I have a pretty good idea, because forever looks like you, Niall Horan so if you ask me, the rest of my life isn't looking half bad. At least not from where I'm standing. And I think I've got a pretty good view.  
  
I've taken to writing you letters, journaling my feelings because a lot of times I can't say what I want to say, I can't put it into to words. And typically by the time I come up with them the moment is long gone and you've moved on. So I write it down, because I'm better with a piece of paper in my hand and this way I know that one day you'll know for sure just how absolutely in love with you I am.   
  
I wrote a letter the day after I bought you a ring. I haven't given that letter to you and I probably won't anytime soon but I wrote it more for myself anyways. So I could be sure, so I knew that my feelings for you backed up my decision, like that was even a question. 

I've known you were the one, you were my one from the moment you wrapped your arms around me that time on the X factor when I was feeling under the weather, you were there and you've been there every day since.   
I'm in love with you. I'm completely, 100% in love with you and I'd give you the world if it'd show you the depth of my feelings but even that doesn't seem like enough. So I've written you a letter in which I let you know exactly what I'm giving you.   
  
And if your answer is yes -- then that letter will tell you exactly what you'll be getting, to have and to hold and to be exclusively yours for the rest of your life.  
  
***  
I'll give you my hands so that whenever you need something to hold on to all you’ll have to do is reach out and grab me, stretch your fingers and mine will be right there to twine with yours. I’ll give you my hands so you’ll never have to search for something to cling to, and never have to worry that that something won't cling to you right back.   
I give you my hands and my fingers as well so that if ever you feel like you're falling to pieces I can press you back into place, back to perfection. Or when all you need is a simple touch, you'll have my fingers, my palms and my knuckles to grasp at your hands, your back, your hips...your body until you feel good and right and full. And I promise you love, I'll give you my hands and you won't ever have to let go.  
  
I'll give you my eyes so you'll know that as long as you’re in the vicinity my gaze will never stray from you because you are all that I see. You are all that I ever want to see. My eyes are for you and you alone because I don’t ever wish to so much as look at another, in this life or the next.   
Their color, you'd say bright green but it's nothing special to me, that's for you too. I know that you love them, my eyes and their color, they belong to you now so if you ever feel the need to get lost, please darling get lost in my eyes, at least then I'll know where to find you.  
  
I'll give you my arms to keep you safe and warm and loved, so you can wrap yourself up in me no matter where we are or what we're doing. I’d like to be your safe place, your haven, an impenetrable fortress so for that I give you my arms, to hold you tight and keep you close, for all the days of our lives.  
My forearms, are yours to flex around that flat stomach when I come up behind you while we make dinner, or get dressed in the morning or stand in the shadows offstage. I give you my biceps to strain above you, under my weight when we make love, then to tighten around your soft, heated body to press you close to me and keep you there, I've got my fingers crossed because I'm counting on forever.  
  
I’ll give you my legs so you never have to go it alone. Any distance you may need to travel I'll be there to walk with you, you'll have my legs to eat up the miles quicker, and when you need to run, I’ll run for you, with you. I’ll set my calves on fire to get you wherever you want to go, to get you away from the places you never wish to see again. To keep you far from danger I give you my legs.  
  
I’ll give you my shoulders to help carry your burdens. Nothing will ever weigh down on your beautiful, perfect self because I’ll be there to lessen the load; I give you my shoulders to shoulder your weight — to keep you strong I’ll become weaker. I'll lift you up, hold you high above the world where nothing can touch you and no one will hurt you.  
  
I'll give you my lips to kiss whenever you want to, whenever you need to, no matter the time or place, they're yours. To do with what you will, I won't care so long as you don't ever stop wanting to kiss them. And to whisper the things you need to hear in the dead of night, I give you my tongue.   
I give it to you as to only be able to utter your name for the rest of my days. You may use it for whatever, to worship your body, or lick along you skin, tracing your freckles or nothing at all. I just want you to know that no other name shall my tongue help to form because my tongue is solely for you. I would rather be unable to speak then be forced to worship any other name.   
  
I'll give you my ears. Ears that are already tuned into your voice, every word, every sound they're keyed in to hear it all. I give them to you so you never miss a minute, of the splendor and wonder and joy that your voice brings to me and everyone around you. I've heard it all and it's made me a better man, so I'd like you to have them so you can experience it too, hear what I hear and maybe feel it in your bones what your voice does to me.   
  
I'll give you my mind so you know that I never think of anyone other than you. You consume my thoughts without even trying so to prove it I'll give you my mind. I think of you always, in good times and in bad, that's why I always seem unfocused or like I'm somewhere else because in a way I guess I am. But I don't think it's a bad thing. I'm giving you my mind, so tell me what you think.  
  
I'll give you my heart—in its entirety because it will always be solely yours. My heart has been yours from the start and I never wish for it to be in the possession of another because I want you forever; I need you forever so to keep you I'll give you my heart.  
  
I'll give you everything, all that I have and I know it's not much but it’s all that I've got. It's all for you though Niall, only for you and I hope in return, you'll give me you too.  
  
Forever yours,  
Harry  
  
***  
Maybe one day I'll give that particular letter to you. Just so I know that you know.

***

It's quiet in the house, you're leaning against my side, messing with my fingers as a rerun of Friends plays on the Telly. I've already seen this episode but you haven't so I sit there with you as you watch it because you seem to be enjoying yourself and of course I'm content as long as you are.  
I've been quiet all day, just soaking up your company but I can tell that you can tell something is up, we've been together for 2 and a half years, best friends for 3 so I know you know, I mean how could you not?  
  
I can also tell you want to ask but are waiting for me to come out with it on my own because you know I trust you with my very life and when I'm ready to talk you'll be the first person I go to.   
This isn't something you can remedy though, it isn't a problem, it's just something I can't get off my mind. Just like you, I can't get it out of my head and for a moment there'll be something that distracts me but by the time I realize I'm not thinking about it anymore, it's back in my head again with no hope of leaving anytime soon.  
  
"Hey Ni," I say into the crown of your head, your blonde hair getting stuck to the balm I applied to my lips earlier.  
Your head tips back against my shoulder, and for a moment, just like always, your gorgeous blue eyes knock the wind right out of my chest. You blink up at me, perfect and maybe a little sleepy but we've been watching television all day so I let you get away with it (but I'd let you get away with potentially anything).   
I don't say anything for a while, still a little lost in your eyes and you clearly see it to. I've forgotten what I was even going to say, luckily you know me so well, your able to save me from this situation that I'm so blatantly flushing down the toilet.  
Your smaller hand lands on my cheek, "I love you too Harry."   
  
That makes me smile.   
  
I mean that was what I was going to say but that wasn't all, you just beat me to that part is all. You're snuggling deeper into my side though, pressing your face right up into mine, my lips nudge against your forehead and I can feel you smile even though I'm not looking at and can't see your mouth. I wish I could though because I'd really like to kiss you right about now. And as if you're reading my mind you swivel you head around again, pucker your lips up at me and that's really all it takes. I'm so gone for you that you barely even need to bat your eyelashes at me and I'm sold. You don't even need to do that much in case you were wondering because I'm already leaning in to kiss those thin pink lips. I'm licking along the seam, sucking your bottom lip between both of mine until I get that little breathy sigh out of you that I absolutely adore, and you're pressing closer, angling your head to kiss me back a little harder.   
  
Your fingers twine in my hair, tug at it slightly and my head falls back a little as you throw a track pant clad leg over my lap to straddle my thighs. You're so close to getting your way, having your wicked way with me and I'm pretty close to letting you but I have to do this, have to do it before I lose my nerve and let yet another day go by.  
  
"Niall," I pull my mouth away from yours with much reluctance. The pitiful whine that you send my way damn near breaks my heart. Though it's nothing compared to the whimper-pout combo you give me as I wiggle away from you, slipping off the couch to kneel on the floor in front of you. Your eyes are wide, your lips are parted and a little swollen, it takes everything in me not to just surge back up and claim your lips, make you mine again and again and again...but this, this will hopefully make you mine in one of the most concrete ways there is.  
  
"Harry," you whine at me but it isn't annoying it's cute because you're cute and I want to make it better as fast I can so I will.   
"I have to ask you something," I can practically feel your ears perk up at that. You're so easy going that you're just gonna roll with it, whatever it is but your eyes look at little wary, bright but still nervous.   
I clear my throat a couple of times as I take your hands in mine, bring them up to my mouth to kiss at each of your knuckles and I'm not looking at you but I can tell you're blushing like mad. I'd really like to say something eloquent and romantic but I'm not good with that, (that's what my letters are for anyways) so I just go for it with the hope that I don't completely stuff this all up.  
  
I take a deep breath and reach my hand into the pocket of my pants, pulling out the slim white gold ring, I hear you stifle a gasp and it lights a fire within me.  
"Oh fuck," you whisper and I'm about to say something, the hand that is still grasped in yours squeezes mine so tight my knuckles crack, "Yes!"  
  
"I haven't even asked you yet," I laugh and your expression is pure elation, shaking my head because how could this go any different? It couldn't but I'm okay with that because it's you and me and I'm still gonna ask for real but you totally just said yes! "Can I ask or..."  
  
"No, no of course, of course, ask me, ask me, ask me!" You squeal, jump up so you're sitting cross legged and I can't get enough of this moment.   
"Niall Horan, will you marry me," you answer with a squeak and you start to pull the hand away from your mouth to place it at the base of your throat as you try, as I watch you try to even out your breathing which is beginning to come in short pants. I'm a little worried you might start hyperventilating but then you're smiling, wide and bright and perfect and your eyes are all alight and happy and you're nodding your head so fast I think you might get whiplash.   
"Yeah," you whisper and it sounds so much better the 2nd time but it's probably got a little to do with the realization on your face that I actually just asked you to marry me and the tears in your eyes. "Yes, yeah...of course!"  
"Yes," I ask just to tease you but I'm practically vibrating out of my skin with the need to slip this ring on your finger. You start nodding again and when the first tear slips down your cheek I know it's for real and I'm not going to tease you anymore.   
It's a perfect fit and you let out this breathless giggle as I settle it at the base of your ring finger. White gold against creamy Irish skin, it looks like the rest of my life, our life together, that ring on your finger.   
  
I get up on my knees, sliding that much closer to the couch, to you and you're already leaning towards me, your small, guitar-string-roughened hands frame my face as you kiss me like your life depended on it. The coolness of the ring, your ring on my skin sets my soul on fire, the feel of it against my face, that's my forever. Right there.  
You hop up from the couch and I manage to right myself in time to catch you in my arms, I wrap you up in them, tight under your thighs and around your back, your legs clench around my waist and I just can't believe I actually did that and you said yes and we're going to get married and what's breathing? Do I need to do that to live because I don't think I remember how.   
I trip my way upstairs to our room with nothing but you, my giddy fiancé on my mind and in my arms.   
  
***  
And later that night after I've kissed every inch of your body, pulled 3 amazing orgasms out of both of us and turned pale skin bright red with my love I catch you staring at my ring on your finger. But it's what you say to me that makes me fall in love with you all over again.  
  
"It looks like forever," you whisper without looking away from the metal wrapped secure around your finger. "Can see the rest of my life in it, ya know," and it's breathless and leaves me speechless but happy, so very happy. You turn over to face me again and I smile at you and you smile back.  
  
"I was thinking the exact same thing," I say and the moon casts light over your still cooling skin, makes love to your complexion in a way that should be a sin.   
You lean in and I lean in too, kissing you quick and soft and you sigh like you're totally in love with me, and it feels good and right and I hope you know that I'm just as in love with you too.  
I'm pretty sure you do.  
  
The blinding blue of your eyes is the last thing I see before I fall asleep that night, and in that blue there's tailored suits and flower petals and smiling friends, crying mothers and a honeymoon in the French Rivera followed by rocking chairs and a dozen grandchildren whom we spoil absolutely rotten and graying hair and orthopedic shoes but mainly and most importantly a lifetime of love, a life with you, Niall.   
All I really need to know now is, when can we start?! 

**Author's Note:**

> IT TOOK AWAY THE ITALICS! Meh. I'll fix that tomorrow


End file.
